You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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