Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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