Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
