There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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