he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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