Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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