The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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