take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
