I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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