I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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