4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
