Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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