She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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