is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
