This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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