Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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