When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
