Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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