turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
