just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
