what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
