Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
