We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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