i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
