Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
