I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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