I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
be right there i have to get my cape
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
