...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
