Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
