I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
