There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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