You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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