explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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