Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
