I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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