Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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