he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
