Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
