The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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