so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
