i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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