yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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