i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize