I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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