god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
