I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
