He uses pillows to masturbate.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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