Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
