I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
