I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize