Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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