i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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