Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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