I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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