Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
