Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
