Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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