I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
so much tequila, so little girl.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
