Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
