And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
