Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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