Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
