you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
