So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
