youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
