Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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