had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
