so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
