I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
