i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
why is half of my head shaved?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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